The Blodget Sandwich

With thanks to Peter DeVries (for the appellation only).

Please heed the following somewhat obvious advice in making this mouth-watering midnight feast -- the fresher and higher-quality the ingredients the finer the end product:

• Take 2 slices of reasonably firm, fresh rustic white or whole-wheat bread.
• Cover the bottom slice with a swath of good brown mustard like Kosciusko ... not yellow mustard.
• Now add the following cool or cold ingredients (except where indicated), in the approximate order stated:
- Two slices of baked Virginia ham (preferably fresh-cut with edge-fat included),
- One or two slices of room-temperature Swiss cheese (Emmental, if possible),
- Some fresh sweet pickle relish (to taste ... at least one heaping teaspoonful),
- Two or three thin slices of Bermuda onion (halved scallions may be substituted),
- Three or four thin slices of a lean and tasty Genoa salami,
- A full spreading of sharp Jewish horseradish (neglect this, and it’s no Blodget),
- Two crisp leaves of Boston or Bibb lettuce (Iceberg only as a last resort),
- Two or three rounds of a fresh, red, ripe tomato (skin peeled off), and
- A slathering of Hellmann’s real mayonnaise (on the tomato, NOT on the top bread).
• Cover with the other slice of bread, slice the finished sandwich on the diagonal, and hold each half together with a long toothpick, topped with a Colossal green pimento olive or a sweet gherkin (or both).
• Place a dish towel into your pajama-top neck, as a bib.
• Pour yourself a tall, cold glass of milk and find a good old movie on TV.
• Enjoy!  (And don't call it a Dagwood!)