Hang Out Your Shingle

In the Army they used to call it SOS, “[bleep] on a shingle.” It is really creamed chipped beef on toast and it can be a sensational breakfast or brunch dish if prepared with just a modicum of care. First you have to acquire some real dried chipped beef (or jerky). I say "real" for the brand I often used was Beardsley’s. Unfortunately it is no longer available … another casualty of the food Nazis. (I bought a bunch of it on close-out at Ocean State Job Lot). Don’t be tempted to use Armour’s chipped beef. It’s a reconstituted product made from minced beef pressed back into a sheet with some kind of binder. So, you probably must go on the Internet to find the real thing. May I suggest trying Carson's or Knauss Snack Foods (the original maker of Beardsley’s). I can’t really vouch for either since I still have my larder stocked with aging Beardsley’s, so caveat emptor.

To prepare this wonderful dish, generally follow the following steps:

- Soak the dried beef in cold water for about 10 minutes to remove some of the salt.
- Mince a small onion and a small Italian pepper (or half a larger one)
- Sauté the onion and the pepper in a large frying pan in about half a stick of butter until the onion is translucent.
- Sprinkle this mixture with about about two heaping tablespoons of flour (or Wondra). Stir and heat until the flour turns a light brown.
- Gradually add about one cup of milk (1% is fine), stirring vigorously, and heat until this mixture thickens.
- Drain, dry, roughly chop, and add the dried chipped beef.
- Then add about three grinds of black (or white) pepper and ½ a teaspoon of dried thyme (or one teaspoon of chopped fresh thyme)
- Give this mixture about four or five squirts of Lea and Perrins Worcestershire sauce..
- Heat thoroughly and taste for salt. Be careful about adding any more salt.

Serve on four buttered toast points made with a good quality rustic white or whole wheat bread (more generously than that pictured). Goes well with a good hot cup of coffee and a fresh-cut fruit cup.

Devil in the Details

This construction of deviled roast beef bones is for the frugal among us who love manly foods. I used to eat this dish many years ago at the Biltmore Men’s Bar when it really did bar women. When you have finished that standing roast beef for Sunday dinner, don’t throw away the bones! Follow these simple directions for a delicious Monday lunch:

- Cut the roast beef bones apart leaving a goodly and roughly equal amount of meat on each one. (You may have to separate and discard the chine bone.)

- Create the following “deviling paste” with a little bit of panache. Mix about two heaping tablespoons of a good quality mustard (Kosciusko or Gray Poupon) with about a tablespoon of horseradish. Give this mixture a few squirts of Lea and Perrins Worcestershire sauce, one squirt of hot sauce (Frank’s or Tabasco), a pinch of salt, a few turns of fresh-ground pepper, and, maybe, a few drops of lemon juice. Next you have to turn this sauce into a paste. You do this with a beaten egg yoke and enough bread crumbs (or Panko) to create a tight texture.

- Spread this paste all over the roast beef bones and place them on some aluminum foil covering a small pan. I use the toaster-oven pan and cook them in the toaster oven (again, frugal). Start them in the (toaster) oven at about 250 degrees to start rendering the excess beef fat. After about five minutes turn up the (toaster) oven to 300 degrees. Then, after another five minutes (or so), up it to 350 degrees, Then, 400 degrees. Finally, to broil. Be careful not to burn the bones but make sure they are a good dark color.

Enjoy them in private unless you don’t care if people see you with grease all over your chin. They go well with a hearts of lettuce salad with Russian dressing (made with caviar, not pickle relish … my one departure from frugality).

For the Walrus in Us

Every time I was perambulating through Grand Central Station and had a few extra minutes and a good appetite, I used to stop at the Oyster Bar and have their famous Oyster Pan Roast. They had numerous steam-heated copper pans at the bar itself which, it seemed, were dedicated to this concoction. There is a recipe for this dish in the old New York Times Cookbook which I have pretty much memorized to use when I find a pint or more of good, plump, shucked oysters for sale. All these figures are approximate so experiment yourself until you come up with your ideal proportions.

Assemble some (2 or 3) toasted French bread rounds in the bottom of two wide soup bowls. Now, get a good heavy enameled medium-sized but high-sided pan and heat it up well over a high flame. Next melt a good quarter of a stick of butter in the pan. Squeeze about a half a fresh lemon through your fingers into the butter. Then add the oysters, liquor and all. Give this mixture about 5 squirts of Worcestershire sauce (don’t skimp, use Lea and Perrins). Add about a half bottle of Heinz chili sauce and about 1/2 a teaspoon of celery seeds. Top this off with about a cup of heavy cream (OK, half and half if you are dieting). Stir well and heat until some large bubbles appear on top. Immediately ladle into the soup bowls and sprinkle with good quality paprika. The parsley leaf shown would be fluff.

You will not be hungry again for at least a day ... but you will talk of many things.

Whiskey Sour A Go Go

This is a perennially popular cocktail … too often made with inferior ingreients or (ugh) mixes. This is the real thing:

- The juice of one good-sized smooth-skinned lemon (no seeds please). (Be careful, lemons that are rough skinned have a lot less juice.  You might have to use more of this type of lemon.)
- 3 to 4 heaping tablespoons of powdered sugar
- 6 ounces of good bourbon or sour-mash whiskey (I prefer Jack Daniels ... but it was better when it was 90 proof)
- One raw egg white (please … if you use clean, Grade-A eggs, you needn’t get paranoid)
- (If you still can’t chance it, try the product called Frothee.)

Place ingredients in a (Warring) blender. Add ice cubes to about 4 inches from the top.  Put top on tightly and blend until all the ice cubes are crushed to your desired degree.

Put a Maraschino cherry in a short cocktail glass (with a little of its red juice). For more drama, hang a slice of navel orange on the side of the glass.  Fill with the blended whiskey sour.

Enjoy!

Herring Today …

This is a process taught to me by my wife's father, Leo, a former chef at Luchow's in New York City.  Thanks Leo.

The very most important thing for this pickled herring recipe is buying the best quality herring you can find … which is not easy to do. If you shop at a supermarket, may I recommend Svenska, if you can find it. Or, in a pinch, Nathan’s. Please don’t buy Vita. It tastes like recycled shoe leather. Or, to raise it another notch, shop at a Jewish deli, such a Zabars, and ask for schmaltz herring … which is the very best … tender as a baby’s bottom.

Now, even it is already pickled, rinse everything off of this herring … sour cream, onions … everything. If it is too salty place it in a shallow dish and run a thin stream of cold water run over it for at least a half an hour. Now sort through the herring and make sure there are no bones or anything to spoil the final product. If it isn't already, cut it into bite-size pieces. Now dry it off thoroughly and place about six ounces of it in a bowl.

Next, peel and cut a small onion (preferably Vidalia or Walla Walla) in half lengthwise. Now crosswise cut each half into very thin slices and separate the half-rings. Place them in with the herring. Spoon in about one tablespoon of good quality sharp cider vinegar and about the same quantity of white sugar. Add a large pinch of dry mustard and about a half pint of sour cream. Mix well. Top with a good sprinkling of dried dill weed … or preferably, chopped fresh dill.

Cover and place in the refrigerator at least over night.

Serve with a thin-sliced good rustic rye or pumpernickel bread  or, even better, some Wasa crispbread ... and some ice-cold aquavit. 

It most surely will be gone tomorrow.

Shepherd’s Pie-eyed

This Shepherd’s pie recipe is inspired by a dish served at a diner where I once washed dished when I was in college (Hal's ... and was the first job from which I was fired).

Ingredients:
1½ pounds lean ground beef or lamb (neck meat is best … grind your own if you can)
2 small yellow onions, chopped
2 Tbsp. olive oil
½ pound green beans, cleaned, deveined, halved and cooked al dente in salted water
3 large Russet potatoes peeled and quartered
½ cup milk (or cream)
3 dollops of butter
½ Tsp. thyme
5 good dashes of Worcestershire sauce
Salt and pepper to taste
5 or 6 more dollops of butter for the top of the mashed potatoes
Sprinkling of paprika

Boil the potatoes in a large sauce pan of water until tender. Drain well and return to a low heat. Mash these potatoes well, adding a large pinch of salt a 2 or 3 grinds of black pepper. Whip these mashed potatoes well with the milk or cream. If the potatoes appear mushy, they will tighten up as you continue whipping them over low heat. Add the first 3 dollops of butter. Stir and set aside.

In a large frying pan, add the olive oil and heat until almost smoking. Add the chopped onions. Sauté until transparent. Add the ground meat. Add the thyme, Worcestershire sauce, and the salt and pepper to taste. Cook until well browned. Add the cooked and drained green beans. Mix well. Transfer to a baking dish and cover with the mashed potatoes. Place the rest of the butter dollops on top and sprinkle with paprika. Place under the broiler and cook until the top is a golden brown. Serve with nice crusty bread and a good quality cold beer in a frosty glass. And I know it is anathema, but I also enjoy a little ketchup on the side.

Szechuan Taste

When I was quite new to New York City, I was called to jury duty in downtown Manhattan. At lunch one day someone suggested we all go to nearby Chinatown. We did and settled on a restaurant called Szechuan Taste. I, for whatever reason, ordered Shrimp in Hot Spicy Paste. It was like the scene in Pleasantville when the movie went from black-and-white to Technicolor. I never realized that those that made Chow Mien could create such a extravagant dish! That was over forty years ago and I have been experimenting ever since to recreate this ambrosia. I must have this dish ever few months or so or I suffer withdrawal. As a result, I think I have nailed it and here are the results (maybe even better than the original.)

Ingredients
2 lbs. raw shrimp (jumbo or prawns)
½ of a lemon (and/or 1 Tsp. baking soda)
1 Tbsp. finely chopped fresh (only) ginger
1 Tbsp. finely chopped fresh garlic (about 3 cloves)
1 large Bermuda onion or 3 medium yellow onions, coarsely chopped
½ bunch cleaned scallions, cut into 1 inch pieces
1 cup (or more) ketchup or chili sauce
1 Tbsp. soy sauce
1 heaping Tbsp. brown sugar
1 Tbsp Szechuan paste (if available) or Thai equivalent
½ Tsp. red pepper flakes (more if you are so inclined)
1/3 cup peanut oil
½ cup chicken broth (or good Amontillado sherry)
1 heaping Tbsp. cornstarch
1 Tbsp. toasted sesame seed oil
1 cleaned bunch watercress (or other bitter greens)

Clean and devein shrimp, retaining tail shell if so inclined. Soak shrimp in cold water, with squeezed lemon, in refrigerator for about one hour. (Chinese chef’s secret: include the baking soda in the water to keep shrimp from getting tough during cooking.) Combine ketchup, soy sauce, brown sugar, and Szechuan paste. Set aside. Mix chicken broth and cornstarch into slurry. Retrieve shrimp, drain and dry well. (If very large, shrimp may be cut in half.) Put oil in heavy skillet or wok and heat until very hot. Sprinkle in red pepper flakes. Immediately add ginger and garlic. Before these get brown, add chopped onions. Cook until transparent. Add shrimp. Cook until color changes. Add ketchup mixture. Cook about 1 minute or so. Add chopped scallions. Cook briefly. Add cornstarch slurry and cook until mixture thickens. Turn off heat and pour sesame oil on top. Ladle onto a large serving platter on the bottom of which has been spread the watercress. Serve immediately with boiled or steamed white rice.

Say a paean to that chef at Szechuan Taste (so long gone).

Non-Sufferin' Succotash

This dish is great for an end-of-summer block party or church social.  You won't regret doubling this recipe if the crowd is large and hungry enough.

- Fresh leftover (precooked) good quality corn cut right off the cob (about 3 or 4 ears).  This corn should be Butter and Sugar or Silver Queen. If you must use frozen corn, choose 2 packages of Shoe Peg white corn and cook according to package instructions.
- One package frozen baby Lima beans.  It is important to pre-cook it according to directions on package.
- About  two tablespoons sweet red pepper diced very small.(about 1/2 half a red pepper, peeled is better).
- One large shallot diced very small (optional).
- Lots of fresh butter -- at least half a stick -- melted in a large frying pan.
- Sauté red pepper (and shallot) briefly until soft (about 1-2 minutes).
- Add corn and drained Lima beans. Bring up to heat.
- Add about one teaspoon (or to taste) Kosher salt.
- And about four or five grinds of fresh black pepper.
- And a few shakes of paprika (optional).
- Mix well and serve hot -- a real old-fashioned treat.  Serves about four hearty eaters.

The Blodget Sandwich

With thanks to Peter DeVries (for the appellation only).

Please heed the following somewhat obvious advice in making this mouth-watering midnight feast -- the fresher and higher-quality the ingredients the finer the end product:

• Take 2 slices of reasonably firm, fresh rustic white or whole-wheat bread.
• Cover the bottom slice with a swath of good brown mustard like Kosciusko ... not yellow mustard.
• Now add the following cool or cold ingredients (except where indicated), in the approximate order stated:
- Two slices of baked Virginia ham (preferably fresh-cut with edge-fat included),
- One or two slices of room-temperature Swiss cheese (Emmental, if possible),
- Some fresh sweet pickle relish (to taste ... at least one heaping teaspoonful),
- Two or three thin slices of Bermuda onion (halved scallions may be substituted),
- Three or four thin slices of a lean and tasty Genoa salami,
- A full spreading of sharp Jewish horseradish (neglect this, and it’s no Blodget),
- Two crisp leaves of Boston or Bibb lettuce (Iceberg only as a last resort),
- Two or three rounds of a fresh, red, ripe tomato (skin peeled off), and
- A slathering of Hellmann’s real mayonnaise (on the tomato, NOT on the top bread).
• Cover with the other slice of bread, slice the finished sandwich on the diagonal, and hold each half together with a long toothpick, topped with a Colossal green pimento olive or a sweet gherkin (or both).
• Place a dish towel into your pajama-top neck, as a bib.
• Pour yourself a tall, cold glass of milk and find a good old movie on TV.
• Enjoy!  (And don't call it a Dagwood!)